In a bid to reduce crime, Rahm Emanuel has announced that he is “willing to pardon any individuals who assault and capture criminals while wearing masks.” Looking seriously into the camera he states, “this policy applies equally to wealthy individuals who could afford a Deus ex-machina belt and those who are hiding unnatural latent super-powers.” Briefly pausing to cough, he continues, “as a further incentive, we are willing to overlook damage to public and private property.”
The statement was met with warm responses, except for one Golgoth Mortarion: a bald billionaire with a menacing laugh, a sinister smile, a penchant for wearing all black, and speaking in either puns or ominous overtones.
No comments:
Post a Comment